Navigating the Waters: Talking to Family About Gambling in Aotearoa

Introduction: Why This Matters to You

For those new to the world of online gambling and casinos, the excitement and potential rewards can be alluring. In New Zealand, the accessibility of online platforms means that engaging in these activities is easier than ever. However, it’s crucial to approach this realm with awareness and responsibility. One of the most important aspects of responsible gambling is understanding how to communicate effectively about it, particularly with family members. This article aims to guide beginners on how to address gambling concerns with their loved ones, providing practical advice and fostering open dialogue.

Whether you’re concerned about your own gambling habits or those of a family member, knowing how to initiate and navigate these conversations is essential. It’s about building trust, offering support, and seeking help when needed. This is particularly relevant in New Zealand, where a diverse range of online gambling options are available, including sports betting, casino games, and lotteries. Understanding the potential risks and knowing how to communicate them effectively is the first step towards a healthier relationship with gambling. For those starting out, it’s also important to be aware of the resources available, such as the Gambling Helpline and other support services. Furthermore, exploring reputable online platforms like Hell Spin can be a starting point, but always with the understanding of responsible gambling practices.

Recognizing the Signs: When to Start the Conversation

Before you can talk to a family member about gambling, it’s important to recognize the signs that a problem might exist. These signs can manifest in various ways, and it’s crucial to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Some common indicators include:

Increased Spending: Noticeable increases in spending related to gambling, exceeding the family member’s budget or financial capacity.
Time Commitment: Spending excessive amounts of time gambling, neglecting other responsibilities such as work, family, or personal care.
Withdrawal Symptoms: Experiencing irritability, anxiety, or restlessness when unable to gamble.
Chasing Losses: Attempting to recoup losses by gambling more, a common and dangerous pattern.
Secrecy and Deception: Hiding gambling activities from family members or lying about the amount of money spent.
Relationship Problems: Gambling leading to conflicts, arguments, or strained relationships with family and friends.
Financial Difficulties: Accumulating debt, borrowing money, or selling assets to fund gambling.

If you observe several of these signs in a family member, it’s time to consider having a conversation. Remember that recognizing these signs is the first step towards offering support and seeking help.

Preparing for the Conversation: Planning and Approach

Approaching a sensitive topic like gambling requires careful planning. A well-prepared conversation is more likely to be productive and less likely to escalate into conflict. Here’s how to prepare:

Choose the Right Time and Place

Select a time and place where you can talk privately and without distractions. Avoid having the conversation when either of you is stressed, tired, or under the influence of alcohol or other substances. A calm and comfortable environment is essential for open communication.

Do Your Research

Familiarize yourself with the resources available in New Zealand for problem gambling. Knowing where to find help, such as the Gambling Helpline (0800 654 655), can provide valuable support and information to offer your family member. Researching the signs of problem gambling can also help you better understand the situation.

Plan What You Want to Say

Write down the specific concerns you have. Be clear about what you’ve observed and how it makes you feel. Avoid accusatory language and focus on expressing your worries and observations in a non-judgmental way. Consider what outcomes you hope to achieve from the conversation.

Practice Active Listening

Prepare to listen more than you speak. Let your family member express their feelings and perspective without interruption (unless the conversation becomes harmful). Active listening involves paying attention, asking clarifying questions, and summarizing what you’ve heard to ensure understanding.

Initiating the Conversation: Key Phrases and Strategies

Starting the conversation can be the most challenging part. Here are some phrases and strategies to help you begin:

Express Your Concerns: «I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time on [gambling activity] lately, and I’m a little worried.»
Use «I» Statements: «I’m concerned because I’ve seen [specific behaviour], and it makes me feel [your feelings].» This avoids placing blame and focuses on your perspective.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: «How are things going with [gambling activity]?» or «How are you feeling about your gambling?» Encourage your family member to share their thoughts and feelings.
Offer Support: «I’m here to support you, and I want to help you find resources if you need them.» Let them know you’re on their side.
Be Patient: The conversation may not go as planned. Be prepared for denial, defensiveness, or anger. Remain calm and reiterate your concerns.

Avoid using judgmental language, such as «You have a problem» or «You’re addicted.» Instead, focus on your observations and express your concerns in a caring manner.

Responding to Common Reactions

Be prepared for various reactions from your family member. Here’s how to respond to some of the most common:

Denial

If your family member denies having a problem, remain calm and reiterate your observations. Provide specific examples of concerning behaviours. Gently suggest they consider seeking professional help or talking to a trusted friend.

Anger or Defensiveness

If your family member becomes angry or defensive, remain calm and avoid escalating the conflict. Acknowledge their feelings («I understand you’re feeling angry») and reiterate your concerns. It may be necessary to pause the conversation and revisit it later.

Minimization

If your family member minimizes the issue, calmly explain the potential risks of gambling and the impact it can have on their life and relationships. Provide information about the resources available to help.

Acceptance

If your family member acknowledges they have a problem, offer your support and help them find professional help. Encourage them to contact the Gambling Helpline or see a therapist.

Seeking Professional Help and Support

It’s important to recognise that you are not alone in this. Problem gambling is a complex issue, and professional help is often necessary. Encourage your family member to seek professional support from the following resources:

Gambling Helpline: This free, confidential service provides support, information, and counselling. Call 0800 654 655.
Therapists and Counsellors: Look for therapists or counsellors specializing in addiction or problem gambling.
Support Groups: Groups like Gamblers Anonymous offer peer support and a safe space to share experiences.
GP: A general practitioner can provide medical advice and referrals to specialists.

Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Encourage your family member to take the first step towards recovery.

Conclusion: A Path Forward in Aotearoa

Talking to family members about gambling concerns is a challenging but essential step in addressing potential problems. By recognizing the signs, preparing for the conversation, and using effective communication strategies, you can offer support and encourage your loved one to seek help. Remember to be patient, understanding, and supportive throughout the process. In New Zealand, numerous resources are available to help individuals and families navigate the complexities of problem gambling. By working together and seeking professional assistance when needed, you can help your family member regain control and build a healthier relationship with gambling. Consider using the Gambling Helpline and other support services as a starting point. Your care and concern can make a significant difference in their journey toward recovery.